Two days. Two days Kurt had been stuck in the hospital for "monitoring". He understood that they were... concerned about his mental state, but he'd already promised a hundred times over that he wasn't going to do anything again. He'd promised Blaine, known what his boyfriend had gone through, seen it in his eyes even when he didn't say anything. He wouldn't leave Blaine, or his father, or anyone else.
When he was finally allowed to come home, it was to find that someone was waiting for himsomeone he didn't expect to be right there, right then. "Blaine?" Blaine gave him that usual soft smile, but it didn't disguise the worry that was still in his eyes. Kurt's heart ached. His actions had hurt so many people, worst of all the one person he knew he loved most.
"Kurt... Welcome home," Blaine said with a soft smile, offering his hand, which Kurt took almost immediately.
"I have to go back to work," Carole said softly, resting a hand on Kurt's shoulder. He nodded in response, glancing between her and Blaine as they had some sort of silent conversation. Blaine nodded and Carole left, the door shutting quietly behind her.
"I have something to show you, Kurt," Blaine said softly, squeezing his hand and leading him upstairs. Kurt clutched the bag in his free hand, setting it down to the side when they made it to his room, glancing around and frowning, trying to figure out what Blaine was trying to show him. Everything looked the same... though he didn't know if he'd be able to go into his bathroom again.
Blaine steered him towards his bed and sat him down, grabbing the remote to his TV and DVD player before sitting next to him. "This," Blaine murmured, "is what I want to show you." He turned on the TV, then the DVD player, the video starting up almost immediately, briefly black while Blaine's voice came out of it. Kurt could detect the base of one of the Warblers in the background, creating the music.
Made a wrong turn once or twice
Dug my way out, blood and fire
Bad decisions, that's alright
Welcome to my silly life
The music flourished and suddenly he heard most, if not all, the rest of the Warblers joining in on the vocalization, and Kurt could already feel the tears in his eyes as Mercedes appeared on screen against a simple grey background. The Warblers continued to sing.
Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
Miss, no it is all good
It didn't slow me down
"Kurt..." Mercedes started in that soft voice she always got when she was trying to convince him of something, like when she tried to tell him that God existed when his dad had the heart attack. The music of the Warblers in the background softened. "I love you. You're my best friend. I know you've been through a lot of rough times lately but we all want you to know that we're here for you. That's what this video is forso all of us can show you how much we care, no matter if you're at school where we can say it to your face, or at home when you're feeling a little down."
Mistaken, always second guessin'
Look, I'm still around
The music came up to the chorus, and it sounded like the whole of New Directions had joined in with them. Mercedes faded into pictures of Kurt, mostly random candid shots, happy times before everything had gone downhill, both before he'd transferred to Dalton and after he'd gone back to McKinley.
Pretty, pretty please
Don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothing less than perfect
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel like you're nothing
You are perfect to me
You're so mean, when you talk
About yourself, you were wrong
Noah came on screen while Rachel took over the next verse, the music softening once more, Warblers and New Directions alike still singing together. "Kurt, look. I know until I joined New Directions we were pretty much enemies... especially since I threw you in the dumpster on a daily basis... But that's not the point. You're m'boy and I hate that you didn't tell us about what was going on, y'know? We're a family. We woulda protected you."
Strangely enough, Kurt believed Noah's sincerity. It was a little... strange... thinking about him as anything similar to a friend, but as he continued, it was a little easier to grasp. "But anyway, that's not important now. You're coming back to us and that's all that matters. It'll get better, Kurt. I promise."
Change the voices, in your head
Make them like you, instead
Kurt could feel tears in his eyes as the music swelled once more, more pictures showing up, Blaine taking over in the vocals once more, real-time Blaine hugging Kurt close.
So complicated, look how we all make it
Filled with so much hatred, such a tired game
It's enough, I've done all I can think of
Chased down all my demons
Let's see you do the same
Mercedes cut in with her usual amazing vocalizations as the chorus started up again. Kurt was fully crying by the time the rest of New Directionssans Finnsaid a few words each, laughing at Rachel's mention of "you need to keep fighting me for solos Kurt, because I need some healthy competition". The Warblers appeared next and said their piece for him, finishing up as the chorus ended, Artie and Puck bringing up the next verse, taking advantage of the "rapping" part of the song.
The whole world's scared
So I swallow the fear
The only thing I should be drinking
Is an ice cold beer
So cool in line, and we try, try, try
But we try too hard
And it's a waste of my time
Done lookin' for the critics
'Cause they're everywhere
They don't like my jeans
They don't get my hair
Estrange ourselves, and we do it all the time
Why do we do that?
Why do I do that?
Why do I do that?
Mercedes cut in with her vocals again as Finn, Carole, and Kurt's dad appeared. Kurt let out a dry sob before they even began.
"Kurt, we love you, first of all," Carole began, tears already running down her face. "We hate that you were in so much pain, that you were so scared and felt so alone. We've already told you that we will do anything it takes to help you."
"I promised your mother I would protect you," Kurt's dad said, his voice rough. "I had every intention of keeping that promise, too, and I still do. I love you, son, and I... I hate that you had to do what you did. I hate the people that made you do what you did."
"Kurt..." Finn was frowning, trying to figure out what to say by the confused look in his eyes. "Kurt, I wish I'd known what was going on. I wish you wouldn't have hidden it from me. You hid the death threats from Karofsky too and I just... I guess I don't understand what you were going through." It was rare to see emotion in Finn's eyes, but Kurt could see it clearly, even with the video. "You're my brother. Next time... come to me. Please. I'll do anything to protect you."
The video finished off with another chorus and more pictures. When it was dark and silent, Kurt expected it to be over.
Blaine came onto the screen.
Kurt tensed, curling into the real-time Blaine's side, trying so hard not to cry harder than he already was.
"Kurt." Those hazel eyesthe first thing he'd ever noticed about Blainewere so full of emotion, and Kurt realized that he'd opted to say whatever he was about to say because he might have had a harder time saying it directly to Kurt's face. Real-time Blaine's arm tightened around him and he wondered if he was crying too, but he kept his eyes on the screen. "I know you know this already, but I love you. I put this together so you could see that so many people care about you and want to see you happy. I read the letter, the instructions. I..." Even talking to a camera, Blaine was obviously having a hard time continuing. "At first I couldn't believe that you would do that for meprotect me like you were trying to do. And then I realized... I realized that it was so incredibly you that I shouldn't have been surprised at all.
"I know it'll be hard. I know there will be days when both of us are still afraid that those... people will make true of their word and try to kill both of us. But I love you, Kurt. I love you and I'll do anything for you. It will get better, Kurt. If you ever feel alone, just think of me. Think of courage. Think of the Warblers and the New Directions and your family and you'll know you'll never be alone."
Blaine blew a kiss at the camera as the video faded out. Kurt looked up at the real-time Blaine and saw tears rolling slowly down his cheeks. Kurt reached up to wipe them away, then pulled him into a tight hug, sobbing into his shoulder. He stayed curled against Blaine for the longest time, thinking of the grave mistake he'd made, of how many people he'd hurt and were now thinking about him more than he deserved.
"I love you," Blaine whispered, running a hand through Kurt's hair, gingerly so as not to mess it up.
"I love you too," Kurt croaked. "I'm so sorry."
"Don't," Blaine murmured. "Don't apologize. I don't blame you. Nobody does."
"They s-should!" Kurt pulled away. "I'm a horrible person!"
Blaine pulled him close again. "Don't say that! Please, Kurt, don't say that."
"Look at what I've done!" Kurt stayed close though, trying hard not to go back to sobbing. "Everyone's worried I'm going to go try to kill myself again! I just want things to be normal again!"
"They will be," Blaine soothed. "I promise, Kurt. One day, everything will be okay again."
Kurt sighed but nodded. "I hope so," he muttered, curling close to Blaine's side. The roller coaster of emotions was just exhausting, and all he wanted to do was sleep.
"You can sleep," Blaine said softly, as if reading his mind. "I'll be here when you wake up."
Kurt nodded, but before he drifted off, Blaine spoke up again. "Also... there's something I didn't mention on the video."
"What's that?" Kurt said, opening his eyes and looking up at him.
"I'm... transferring to McKinley next year," Blaine said softly, causing Kurt to sit up straight, suddenly not so tired. "I can't stand being away from you anymore, Kurt."
"Oh Blaine..." Kurt pulled him into a tight hug. "I love you."
"I love you too," Blaine said with a smile, gently lying down with him, back to gently stroking his hair. "Sleep now. We'll talk more when you wake up. I promise."
Kurt nodded, feeling for the first time since he'd first started thinking about suicide, things were finally getting better.